


Tiny Bandits

by zarabithia



Category: Smallville
Genre: Crack, Gen, Kid Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-11-21
Updated: 2006-11-21
Packaged: 2019-05-19 21:56:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14881932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zarabithia/pseuds/zarabithia
Summary: Crack.  Also, somewhere down the road in the Smallville future, Lex successfully clones Kon.  Of course, being that GA is also his enemy in the Smallville universe, and that Lex likes to combine his DNA with men who kick his ass, Kon gets a red-haired half-brother.  Naturally.





	Tiny Bandits

Clark glanced down at the small, yet incredibly strong, child tugging on his jacket and spared one brief thought as to why Lex couldn't have simply gone the evil businessman route, like his father. But, no, Clark's former friend had to make everything complicated by becoming a mad scientist.

Fortunately, Clark still had at least one sane friend left. Never had Clark been more grateful for Chloe's help than he was as he watched her hack into the supposedly encrypted files that Ollie had managed to pick up as Green Arrow and Superman - Clark really, really hated that name and didn't see why Lois couldn't have given him one at least as decent as the one she'd given Ollie - had followed up an anonymous tip and rescued the two children from Star Labs.

Both children appeared to be around three years old, though considering the experiments Lex had been up to, their appearances weren't really a very good indicator of anything at all. Clark was relieved that the black haired child was healthy enough to be as rambunctious as he was, but a part of him wished that the child would take a nap, as his red-haired counterpart was currently doing on the sofa next to Chloe.

It would have been easier to have this conversation without any distractions.

"Then what you're saying," Clark said slowly, picking the squirming child up and holding him close, "Is that this one is my son?"

Beside him, Ollie laughed, and Clark felt his heart grow a little warmer as the child in his arms gave an adult-sized scowl in Ollie's direction. He resisted the urge to praise the boy for it.

"Boy, I knew you and Luthor were high school sweethearts, but this whole making babies thing is a little much, don't you think?" Ollie continued to chuckle to himself, despite the glares he received from Clark, the child, and Chloe.

"As I recall, it was actually you and Lex that were the high school sweethearts at Excelsior," Clark retorted. He was delighted to see Ollie cringe at the mention of his past with Lex, though, all things considered, Clark supposed he should feel guilty about bringing up a subject that he knew had caused the other man pain.

But Ollie made it really easy to ignore his conscience, sometimes.

Fortunately, Chloe saved his conscience from further guilt by interrupting whatever Ollie was planning on saying next. "According to these files, half of his DNA is yours," the hacker agreed. "And half is Lex's. I'm not sure if a half-clone is really your _son_ -"

"He is," Clark said quietly. All the searching, all the longing for someone like him that hadn't quite ended with the founding of the JLA the way he'd hoped it would ground to a halt as he looked down at the tiny form in his arms. The child looked back at him, frowned as though he was trying to figure something out, and then proceeded to grab Clark's bottom lip with another impressive display of strength. Prying the child's fingers away, Clark asked, "What about the other one. Are they brothers?"

Chloe glanced once in Ollie's direction before answering. "According to the files, they're half-brothers."

"Meaning?" Ollie had a way of being short with Chloe that Clark didn't appreciate very much.

"Meaning-" Chloe's sigh let Clark know that she didn't appreciate it very much either. "That both of them share Lex Luthor's DNA. The redhead, on the other hand, was apparently cloned from the Green Arrow."

Clark didn't bother to hide his smile. The child in his arms responded by giggling, which Clark thought was rather cute.

"There has to be some mistake," Ollie declared immediately. "That's not even biologically possible. It might be with Clark, because he's not human, but you can't just clone two human males and get a baby."

"It's Lex Luthor," Chloe reminded Ollie patiently, saving Clark the trouble. "Mad Scientist, remember? Defying science is pretty much his goal in life."

"I still say there has to be some sort of mistake," Ollie insisted. "We can't rely on Luthor's files. They need to get them checked out by a _doctor_."

"NO!" The child in Clark's arms, who had been fairly quiet in his squirming, promptly began to scream and kick at Clark's legs. Clark wondered if _he'd_ ever had any temper tantrums. "Doctors bad men! No doctors! Peese?" The sound of his screams awoke the red-haired child, who looked up, blinked, and promptly began to cry. It was a softer cry than the one Clark's son emitted, but was still completely pitiful.

Horrible images of crazed scientists hurting both children caused Clark to hold the child in his arms tighter, but the "please" at the end prompted him to swear, "No doctors. I promise." Vaguely, Clark wondered what if the child had been exposed to the word "promise" at all during his time at Star Labs. For good measure, he threw in an extra "Shh" and what he hoped was a soothing pat on the head.

It apparently worked, because the child stopped crying and threw his little arms around Clark's neck. Clark wondered who in that facility had introduced the boy to the concept of hugs, and he had to squash the bitter surge of jealousy that ran through him as he contemplated the idea that it might have been Lex himself.

Glancing over in Chloe and Ollie's direction, Clark was amused to see that Oliver Queen's heart wasn't made out of stone after all - he'd immediately picked the squalling redheaded child up and was trying to soothe the child's tears with much less success than Clark was having with his son. As for Chloe, Clark didn't need superhearing to hear her comment under her breath that both of the children were going to be spoiled.

And he wanted to argue with her. . .but as those two little arms squeezed tighter around his neck, Clark admitted to himself that the urge to spoil was one he was going to have to fight.

It promised to be one of the more pleasant battles Superman had been involved in.  



End file.
